As part of NRL.com's 'Hisense Upgrade Season' series, we talk to Manly centre Tommy Talau about his journey from an NRL debut as a 19-year-old with the Wests Tigers to a breakout season with the Sea Eagles.
Tommy Talau is sitting alone in his hotel room. He's just torn his ACL and doesn't know if he'll ever step foot on a rugby league field again.
It's the height of COVID and the outside back doesn't have any family around to lean on. Looking back, he still finds it difficult to think about those dark days of September 2021.
Four tries for Tommy Talau
It was an incident, however, that set the foundation for Talau to finally live up to the potential and expectations that had weighed him down from a young age.
The 24-year-old is now thriving in his first season with Manly and as he sits down to discuss his journey for the Hisense Upgrade Season series, he reveals how the ACL tear made him reassess the trajectory his life was taking.
"It's been a rollercoaster," Talau told NRL.com. "You feel like the world's at your feet, then a couple of major injuries make you question if you really want to play footy.
"There are things I want to achieve in rugby league. I decided if I don't have a crack at it, then I'll be letting myself down and letting that younger kid down that grew up dreaming of playing rugby league.
"I'm finding my feet now. The injuries are behind me now and I can play the footy I want to play."
Talau has enjoyed his most successful season in the top flight, but just a couple of years ago he wasn't sure if he'd get back on the field at all.
A young Talau was one of the hottest prospects in the game after playing for the Australian Schoolboys in 2018 and making his NRL debut for the Wests Tigers a year later. The rapid rise caught the then-teenager by surprise and he struggled to cope with the pressure and expectations.
He slowly became more confident in first grade and played 22 games in 2021 before he tore his ACL in the final match of the season.
The side was 13th on the ladder and Talau was carrying hamstring soreness into the game. He could have easily sat it out and turned his focus to 2022.
Instead, the footballer did what all good players do and battled through the niggle. The decision proved a fateful one.
Talau collapsed to the field in the 17th minute, originally thinking he'd broken his leg. It didn't take long for the Tigers medical staff to diagnose a torn ACL and the dark thoughts instantly entered his mind.
![Tommy Talau feared his NRL career was over when he tore his ACL in the final round of 2022.](/contentassets/1b450c657f434002af991ded900c4452/64513136_talaut-injury-210905_sd_02656_20219516360.jpg?center=0.19%2C0.49&preset=photo-inline)
"Straight away as soon as I heard the physio say ACL, my heart just broke," he said. "It felt like everything went silent.
"My older brother had done his knee a couple of years earlier and I knew what he went through. I couldn't fathom being out for a whole year.
"As time went on and I'm sitting in my hotel room by myself, I'm like 'what the hell am I going to do for a whole year without footy'."
Talau missed the entire 2022 season as he battled the mental and physical challenges of an ACL rehabilitation.
The negativity inside his head created a self-fulfilling cycle as a poor diet led to weight gain and made it tougher to build strength in his knee.
To make matters worse, Talau was off contract at the end of 2022 and wasn't sure what his future held or if he even deserved another deal. The prospect of walking away from the NRL became a realistic possibility.
"The contract situation played on my mind for sure. There were a couple of teams talking contracts the year before I did my knee. As soon as I did my knee I was like 'what's going to happen'?
"I was ignoring my manager at the time, I barely watched any footy that year. When the Tigers said they were going to offer a one-year deal, I appreciated it but I also felt I didn't really deserve it. My family told me I did deserve it and I was grateful to the Tigers for that lifeline, having faith and belief in me."
Talau credits his family for helping him stay on track as he continued along a journey that eventually saw him return to the field in the opening round of the 2023 campaign.
The son of former Bulldogs great Willie Talau, rugby league and family have been inextricably linked for Tommy's entire life.
Talau: Ready for an 'enormous season'
The youngster and his two brothers grew up playing rugby league for the Blackbrook Rovers in England while Willie was running around for St Helens in the UK Super League.
The family returned home when Tommy was 10 years old and it didn't take the trio long to find their way into the Bulldogs pathway.
As they progressed through the ranks, the Talau name was both a blessing and a curse.
"I always wanted to do what dad had done," Tommy said. "I always wanted to play first grade. When I was at the Bulldogs, the only thing was the last name.
"I used to catch a lot of flak when I was younger but my dad always reassured me that I made it because of my ability. If I didn't make it, he'd definitely tell me why I didn't make it."
The best of Willie Talau
Willie was hard on his boys as they chased their rugby league dream.
The family spent hours down at the local park working on skills and struggling through gruelling fitness sessions. Poor performances were invariably followed by more extras at the park.
The worse the performance, the less enjoyable those extras became.
Tommy concedes he didn't always love it in the moment, but looking back he recognises how important the lessons his father instilled in him have been throughout his career.
"When you're younger you just want to be a little kid and say he doesn't know what he's talking about, but he definitely knew what he was talking about," Talau said.
"Looking back on it now, I had a pretty good upbringing. Footy's my life and I'm pretty fortunate he's been around it and I get to learn off him.
"Anything to do with footy, he was pretty hard because he knew what it took to get there. When I was a kid you have those dreams but you don't know the sacrifice or what it takes to get there. He instilled discipline, taught me about the sacrifices you need to make.
"It was all out of love. he knows what it takes to be a first grader and I'm blessed I learnt it early."
Breaking into the NRL is never easy, but it was made even more challenging at a struggling Wests Tigers club that hasn't played finals football since 2011.
Talau was surrounded by youngsters doing their best to figure it out on their own, with few veterans around to show them the way.
Navigating social media was an additional challenge the group had to handle, with a constant stream of negativity flowing from frustrated fans after each loss.
"I didn't really know what it took to be a professional athlete," Talau said.
"I would always try hard but physically I wasn't fit enough to meet the demands of first grade and play my best footy, which is unfortunate. Looking back it's pretty disappointing I didn't play my best footy there but it's all a learning curve.
"It was a lot of little things that added up to the big picture. At the end of the day I wasn't the best version of myself. There was a lot of hate around, we were losing a lot of games and that was a factor.
"It's hard for young athletes. You're new into that space and when shit hits the fan, everyone's pointing at you. You feel alone in that aspect but looking back on it now, I'm grateful I've been through it and I know how to handle it."
Eventually, as the 2023 season continued, the 24-year-old recognised he needed a change if he was to reach his full potential.
That came in the form of a two-year contract with the Manly Sea Eagles, a club stacked with some of the biggest names in the game and a perennial top-eight contender.
With his future sorted, Talau had a weight lifted off his shoulders and quickly turned his focus to making a positive start with his new club.
"I wasn't enjoying my footy at that time," he said. "When I signed with Manly it was a big breath of fresh air, I was relieved. I know I can train hard but my mental focus wasn't there.
"That was good for me to get out of there and it gave me a chance to prove to myself I can do it. I can achieve my goals and be the player I want to be."
Talau has thrived since joining the Sea Eagles this season. His stats are up across the board, having scored 14 tries in 17 games and he looks set to play in the finals for the first time in his career.
Tommy Talau Try
The burden of being a teenage prodigy has lifted and it's clear he's now able to just play footy without any additional pressure.
Playing in a star-studded backline led by Daly Cherry-Evans and Tom Trbojevic certainly helps, as does playing alongside former high school teammate Jason Saab.
Life off the field has also taken a positive turn. Talau is dating Roosters NRLW star Jessica Sergis and they have recently moved to the Northern Beaches.
With everything falling into place on and off the field, Talau knows it's now up to him to make the most of his second act.
"I wanted to come to Manly and give it my best crack," he said. "At the end of 2023 I said I was going to give it a red-hot crack and if I'm no good, I might not play but at least I gave it a crack.
"As soon as I did that, I had a really good preseason and everything started falling into place.
"If you work hard and go into things 100%, things are going to go your way. That's the mindset I've had and I've just been enjoying it. My family's been good, I've got a beautiful partner and footy's just been fun. I don't know if it's been this fun since I've been playing first grade."