'Dogs gave me a purpose': Xerri grateful for second chance

Bronson Xerri only needs to look at new Bulldogs team-mate Stephen Crichton to be reminded of how much he has missed out on while serving a four-year ASADA ban.

The pair were rivals at junior representative level and destined for stardom but while Xerri was sidelined Crichton played in four grand finals, won three premierships, made six Origin appearances and spearheaded Samoa to a World Cup final.

“It's funny because me and Critter had a battle in the younger grades, and we've always had that competition, so to see the successful career that he has had while I’ve been out is motivating for me, in a way,” Xerri said.

Yet for much of that time, Xerri wasn’t even sure if he wanted to play again as he struggled to cope with the enormity of what he had done after testing positive for performance enhancing drugs while recovering from shoulder surgery.

However, as the now 23-year-old prepares for his comeback there’s no self-pity or bitterness – just a gratitude that Canterbury GM of football Phil Gould offered him a second chance and a determination to fulfil the potential that had him earmarked as a future Origin star in his teens.

“You know that saying about how you don't know what you have until it's gone? Well, it’s so true,” Xerri told NRL.com.

“Footy was taken away from me for four years and just sitting out and watching my future kind of go to waste was one of the hardest things ever.

“Four years is a long time, and it took a massive toll on me. Sometimes I had thoughts of not even coming back but I am so grateful that I’m here now and every day I think how blessed I am that this club has given me a second opportunity.

“It was a massive life lesson for me and it's something I'm going to have to deal with and live with.”

In the five weeks since he began training as part of a team for the first time since the 2020 pre-season with Cronulla, Xerri has impressed his new team-mates both on and off the field.

“He’s got speed, he’s got size and he’s got strength but the quality that stands out for me the most is that he is accountable for what happened,” said Kurt Mann, who is the most experienced player in the Bulldogs squad.

“He spoke to the playing group and said he accepted responsibility for his actions and was so grateful to be given another chance.”

Xerri said he would be willing to educate other players about the consequences of taking performance enhancing drugs.    

“I think everyone should just think before they do things and be educated on what you can and can't do,” he said.

“I was in a very vulnerable state, but that is no excuse on my behalf. I made a mistake and I will be forever accountable for that.

“But if I just took that split second, just to think, before I made that mistake we wouldn't be here today talking about it.

“I just had a lot going on behind the scenes that no-one really knows about but, like I said, that is not an excuse. I messed up and I paid the penalty.

“I’m blessed that I’m still only 23 so I had age on my side but I lost four years of my career that I can never get back.”

While suspended, Xerri had a stint working for a builder, but he struggled without the sport that was all he had known since a young age.

“When you go from playing professional football at the age of 18, straight from school, to working on a building site, you really think about yourself and your career and your future,” he said.

“I didn't have any drive, and no motivation. I just wasn't in a good mental state, that's for sure.

“But once Gus reached out to me and once I met with him, I think that was all I needed to get my shit together, and to just put my head down and train, and that's exactly what I did.

“I just needed a purpose in life and Gus gave me that purpose and so did the club, and I’ll be forever grateful to them.”

Xerri didn’t watch any NRL before signing a two-year deal with the Bulldogs in December 2022 and last season he only watched matches involving his new club.

But in the back of his mind Xerri has been wanting the chance to prove “the haters” wrong.

“All of those comments saying, I was only the player I was because of [steroids], which was absolutely ridiculous, that’s my motivation,” he said.

“I want to come back and show everyone that's not true and that I am the player I am because of the hard work and sacrifices I put in when I was a kid.

“One mistake took me out of the game that I loved for four years, and no one knew the hard work that came before that one mistake.