Imagine if you could cherry-pick the best attributes from some of the NRL's greatest current stars to fuse together the ultimate player, Frankenstein-style.
NRL.com and Stats Perform have been been cooking up the data in their lab, using information encompassing last season and the first two rounds of 2020 to build a rugby league monster from parts of nine players.
Here's how it was assembled and who made the cut to form this all-round monster of a player that would give any opponent nightmares.
NRL Frankenstein
Feet: Adam Reynolds and Mitch Moses
We've taken a foot apiece off two of the NRL's sharpshooters. From the start of last season to round two of 2020, Rabbitohs halfback Reynolds was the only man to rank in the top 10 across total goals (104), goal kicking success (83%) and field goals (3).
Eels general Moses, meanwhile, has been the king of general play kicking. He registered a whopping 20 try assists with the boot – nine more than the next best, Manly's Daly Cherry-Evans. Moses also ranked fifth for forced line drop-outs (19) and was the only player to record more than 10,000 kick metres (Reynolds was second).
Legs: Ryan Papenhuyzen and Payne Haas
The electric Papenhuyzen and the bulldozing, workaholic Haas ensure our monster has a great base of speed, agility, power and endurance.
Storm fullback Papenhuyzen ranked third for total line breaks (18) in the data collection period – and that's despite being a bench player for a lot of last year.
The pocket rocket made at least one line break in all but two of his first 12 starting appearances for Melbourne, including three in 32 minutes against the Eels in round nine, 2019 – an amount only surpassed by one player. Papenhuyzen also tallied the equal most half-breaks (7).
Broncos prop Haas possesses an immense appetite for running the ball. He recorded the most post-contact metres in the in-focus data period with 1633, accounting for a sizeable chunk of the 4290 metres he made in total (first for forwards, seventh overall).
Haas crashed through the 100-metre barrier in all but one match in a season where he was named the 2019 Dally M Rookie of the year, going on to notch a double ton 11 times (first for forwards, third overall).
Torso: James Fisher-Harris
A major force with the Steeden in hand who averaged more than 200 metres per match in 2019, Panthers forward James Fisher-Harris brings plenty to his team's attack without the ball as well.
From the beginning of last season to round two of 2020, the insatiable worker recorded 319 decoy runs – 72 clear of Storm lock Dale Finucane (247) in second.
Fisher-Harris is the lone player in that period to have racked up a triple-century of decoys as well as support runs (315). Finucane was the only other player to have recorded 200 in those categories.
Tedesco breaks through
Arms: James Tedesco and Junior Paulo
We couldn't create an NRL monster without a piece of arguably the world's best player: Roosters, NSW and Australian fullback James Tedesco.
The reigning Dally M Medallist's penchant for breaking tackles at will was the focus – he topped the charts for total tackle breaks (178) and average tackle breaks per game (6.8 – equal with David Nofoaluma) in the data collection period.
The other arm belongs to Parramatta prop Junior Paulo, who belies his imposing size with the deft touch of a halfback. Paulo has been the master of offloading, managing to slip a pass while being tackled a league-high 63 times.
Shoulders: Jake Trbojevic
In terms of technique and effectiveness, there's few better defenders than Manly lock Jake Trbojevic. He made 1161 tackles across the 2019 season and the opening two rounds of 2020 – the third most behind Reed Mahoney (1282) and Damien Cook (1263).
The NSW and Australian representative also chopped opponents in 56 one-on-one tackles – the fifth most – and boasted the third-highest success rate of all 21 players who made more than 1000 tackles in the past two seasons (93.3%).
Head: Luke Keary
The calm Keary would be the sharp mind that completes the NRL Frankenstein. The clever Roosters five-eighth is an attacking wiz, providing the second most try assists (23) and the most line-break assists (22) in the data collection period. He was the only player to sit in the top five of both categories.
Keary also has a knack of standing up in big moments, as evidenced by the three premiership rings he owns.